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Mike Lindell's Lawsuit against Dominion becomes a Ridiculous Game of six Degrees of Hugo Chavez
Lindell is a man whose sole success in life is made up of in the creation of an infomercial that allowed him to sell bags of foam shredded as if they were a source of special magic. Which, admittedly, is quite a clever trick. Lindell appears to have not understood his ability to sell polyurethane nuggets for something that provides him with a unique view of the world. And, most shockingly, Lindell has ascended to the summit of Bullshit Mountain as the man Trump is really hoping to get back into office not in 2024, but in August.
However, Lindell has a court case to defend. He has filed a lawsuit against Smartmatic USA and Dominion Voting Machines on Thursday. It's not a typical lawsuit, as this one is accompanied by color illustrations.
Lindell's lawsuit is an interesting artifact. A dead rodent is an interesting artifact from the Black Death, sort of.
It's not clear if Lindell actually secured any sort of legal counsel in order to file the suit. It's absolutely clear that it was not necessary. Because the evidence Lindell gave to the court has the same connection to an actual lawsuit as two clowns wearing a horse suit must submit to the Secretariat. Particularly, putting the word "Fact" at the start of a statement doesn't make it a factual statement. Particularly when each of the statements that follow is at best, a wild conjecture. In addition, putting together a pile of these "facts" into a Jenga tower does not make them any more factual.
In two successive "fact" statements, Lindell first declares that Dominion is in fact "a state actor" because it is the one who controls elections, then declares the "fact" that he can slander Dominion in any way he wishes. Because it is a state actor. After that, Lindell continues with the "fact", that he has already proven that the 2020 election was faked. This includes twenty hacks "primarily by actors from China that affected the results of the presidential race in the 2020 General Election."
Lindell has not only achieved the art of the "fact" statement, but he's also clearly nailed the use of legal footnotes. He uses the word "Lawfare", and then adds at the bottom: "Lawsuit Warfare = Lawsuit+Warfare = Lawfare." This link will take you to Wikipedia to make sure it's legal.
The first few pages of this 82-page e-book is dedicated to laying out these facts. It takes all the way to page 10 before Lindell steals a title from a Terminator sequel and begins to simply write a stream-of-consciousness play on "The Rise of the Machines." And, of course, it's all there. The "algorithm" that allows votes to be changed, the method by which votes are counted on Spanish and German servers. Naturally, entire chapters are dedicated to the fact that Smartmatic is both a servant and contractor for the Hugo Chavez-controlled government in Venezuela.
Oh, and that section of the lawsuit starts with a the Shakespeare quote. You know, normal lawsuits.
Lindell's crackpotpedia has a number of statements that are obviously infuriating to his highly-skilled eyes. Lindell claims that American Information Systems was founded in part by the Urosevich brothers, descendants from Serbian immigrants as well as that Dominion has a Belgrade office and that Smartmatic engineer was "Venezuelan born"; this is apparently part of an international conspiracy.
Just to give one relatively light example of thread plucking process, here's part 52 in Lindell's "rise of the machines" section:
Dominion was purchased by Staple Street Capital in 2018. David Mark Rubenstein, the largest shareholder of Staple Street Capital, was also the co-founder and CEO of The Carlyle Group. The Carlyle Group, a global investment company with significant investments in China, is known for its long-standing and significant investments. In the months prior to the election, Staple Street Capital, owner of Dominion received an investment of $400 million from UBS Securities, LLC in 2020. Gaming UBS Securities LLC controls 24.99 percent UBS Securities Co. LTD. It is which is a Chinese investment bank. The remaining 75% of UBS Securities Co. LTD is owned by the Chinese government or various subsidiaries of it.
This is a clear proof of ... what again? Oh wait, Lindell brings it home just two sections later to say that by the time of the 2020 election "Chinese government-related entities, Chinese technology companies, and powerful Chinese financial interests were directly or indirectly owners of and a near-total access to Smartmatic's and Dominion's voting machine technology."
Lindell has created a Mulligan stew with conspiracy theories that cover nefarious actions from everyone from China to Space, Germany to Serbia and Venezuela (and that's an extremely incomplete list), but he also insists that the conspiracy was covered by the media, which includes the infamous YouTube.
The time span of Lindell's suit when it is ruled by the court will make mayflies look like Methuselah and the whole concept of Six Degrees of Hugo Chavez should immediately be recognized as ridiculous. But, here's the situation we're in. Mike Lindell isn’t just filing ridiculous suits to defend a web of lies. He’s also making an entirely new scam from his money-making flimsy fortune.
Lindell's image, which actually does give this particular putsch the mustache it's been missing-as a broken-down lounge singer headlining an array of third-tier scam artists is both funny and pathetic. Unfortunately, it's a fraud whose goal isn't just moving containers of patent medicine or lumpy sleep spoilers.
A party that worships Donald Trump is a party that, by definition, is owned by fraudsters. But the victims of this scam extend beyond the Republican Party.